Baby Gear

Now that we are back from vacation, I think it's time to get the baby gear list in order.  I will be needing some assistance from y'all on this one.  We have a crib, but are fully prepared to do whatever it takes to get sleep, whether it's in our bed--we just got a new beautiful, wonderful, large mattress, or her crib, or pack & play, whatever. 

We have a changing table, some basic baby toys, feeding supplies--bottles, formula (yes, I am keeping her on formula, just relax) blankets, diapers.  What I need a recommendation for is a stroller and carseat.  Keep in mind she is 15 months. 

Also, I'm thinking about a carrier for using in China.  It will probably still be pretty hot when we go (September?) and as much as I love the looks and sturdyness of the Ergo or Beco carriers, they look HOT, as in sweaty.

Ergo Carrier

I'm thinking a sling would probably be cooler.  I think the fact that we will need all the bonding help we can muster and China is not too stroller-friendly (so I have been told), will warrant some sort of carrier.  I have an old Hotslings that is a little small for me, so it's time for a new one.

This one is a Hotslings  it's pretty (and reversible for the Hubs), and a whole lot cheaper.  Then......there's the wrap--HOT, but practical.  They also make (or I could make) a RingSling   which looks pretty practical and completly adjustable.  What to do, what to do?

Ok, so what else do I need?  High chair or booster that straps on to a chair?  I have a baby pool floaty,so we're all set in that department!  It's been a while since Austin was a tot and we did not keep too much.  Maybe a ride-on toy for in the house or some musical activity center thingy?  What did/do your kids love?

I am also happy to hear any ideas for entertaining a baby on an airplane for hours and hours. 

Last request, just pray for these approvals we need.  It's hard waiting, we should have had our immigration approval by now, it's been 30 days, grrrrr.  Then we have to wait another week-2 weeks for a paper before we can submit it back to China for them to get our Travel papers ready.  It just seems so far away and I am getting discouraged and anxious.  I just want to get to Jadyn!

We received an update on Jadyn

We did not get a new picture, this one is from our original information, but we were able to submit some questions.  We got them answered!!

Can we please have current measurements?
height：76CM，weight:12KG，head circumference: 49CM，chest circumference:50CM，feet:10CM

Is she still on formula, from a regular bottle or a cup?
 formula

Does she have any medical or special needs, aside from her original information?
No.

Is she on any medications? If so, what are they?
No.

Has she had any illnesses?
No.

Is she able to walk?
Walking by holding one hand.

What words can she say?
Nainai (grandma), Gege (big brother), mama.

What makes her angry or upset?
Things that she does not like.

What do you do that soothes her or calms her down?
Hold her and distract her.

What is her favorite toy?
Music toys.

They will provide new development report in a few weeks.

We are currently waiting on our I800 application to be approved.  When we receive that, and then another notice from another USCIS entity, we can submit another bundle of red tape to get this process moving along.  Thankfully, this part is all pretty predictable, and unless OUR government agencies start to process these papers faster, it will take about 30 days until we wait on the next step.

We have ordered a care package for Jadyn through http://www.redthreadchina.com/.  It includes a photo album of our lovely faces, so she will at least have some exposure (ha, pun intended) to us before we meet her, and some cookies and candy for the kids and staff where she lives.  We are hoping that we will be able to get some updated photos of her through this service.

This is all becoming so real.  It's sinking in now. 

IT'S A GIRL!!

our new daughter to be

JADYN

What we know about Jadyn:

She was born in Hubei, China and is there waiting for us.

Her birthday is April 4, 2009.

We can't wait to meet her!

We were matched a few weeks ago and decided to wait to break the news until we received our LOA from China.  We were fully expecting to have to wait 4-6 weeks for this approval, but Praise God, it came early!  We are still letting it sink in, we waited for so long and now it's finally happening....and it's actually happening!  China said YES!

Of course, there is more paperwork to do and it is the process that brings about our travel invitation.  Once we get this approval, we will make plans to travel shortly thereafter.  We are hoping for August, but it could certainly be Septemer.

Her papers say 26lbs, but I am thinking that is with clothes on, soaking wet.  Guess I need to figure out what size diapers to get, 3 or 4?  Any advice for this new/old mom is welcome---well within reason, anyway. 

Thanks for sharing in our Big News!

Be blessed!

Deb & Dwayne

What's the Truth about International Adoption?

A very well-spoken person in my circle of cyber-friends, whose family has been blessed by international adoption, wrote the following article. This statement came out of her heart in response to media coverage about recent international adoption news. If we rely on the media, we will NEVER know the truth, or at least never know the full story. Give it a read. Well done!

I am the Truth


Recently there have been many stories in the news regarding international adoption. Stories about corruption and trafficking, about unethical agencies and uncaring parents, about abuse and about neglect, about unprepared families and uninvolved agencies, but are those stories really the truth about what international adoption is? In the face of these stories, the Joint Council on International Children's Services has asked that all adoptive families speak out about the truth of international adoption.

But what is the truth of international adoption?

The truth is international adoption is not for the ill-prepared or the uncommitted- but then that is true of parenting- PERIOD

The truth is your child comes to you with a history that you not only were not a part of, but that you might never ever know. Some of that history may involve their first families or foster families and you will realize that these people have become part of your lives, regardless of whether or not you have ever met them or even know what they look like.

The truth is smiles and hugs, tears and tantrums, joys and sorrow

The truth is that you will always cringe when people ask you if you have children “of your own” because you understand how totally and completely your child is yours even while others can’t understand how that can be so

The truth is that your child's story becomes part OF you yet it doesn't belong TO you. It is neither yours to tell or to interpret

The truth is that love is not enough

The truth is that you occasionally feel that you have to explain or defend your family to others and this includes the seemingly positive statement that you “saved” your child. No matter how bad a situation they might have been in, what happens after an adoption is parenting, not saving.

The truth is you need to think about things you may never have ever considered before and things that maybe you would rather not consider- things like racism, classism, privilege, power and entitlement.

The truth is tiny handprints on the wall, little footprints on the floor, potty training, homework, band-aids, piles of laundry, sloppy kisses, bouquets of dandelions and belly laughs

The truth is that every news story about your child's country of origin now matters to you too

The truth is that great sadness at what was lost can exist in the same space as great joy at what was gained

The truth is that a child can be the bravest person you have ever met

The truth is that international adoption is messy and complicated and hard and amazing and wonderful

Before we began the adoption process we took some adoption classes. On the last night there was a panel of adoptive parents (all of whom had only adopted children) One by one they each told their stories and each said they could not have loved their child more if they had been born to them. And while I understood that academically, I wondered how they could be so sure. I now look at my daughters and know birth is not what makes a parent. I look at my girls and know they are mine- yet at the same time, I also know they are not mine alone. I look and wonder whose eyes do they have, where does their personality come from, how much is nurture and how much is nature. But I do know- with every fiber of my being that parenthood is not based on genetics or birth or sharing a resemblance.

The truth of international adoption is that family isn't determined by the single act of giving birth but by the act of simply BEING a family

THIS IS THE TRUTH OF INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION

Thanks for stopping by!!

iPod

This technology is crazy. Who knew I could do a blog post from my IPod? Someday......this could come in handy. If we ever get to China, that is.

Sent from my iPod

Another Step Down

Our Dossier has made it through the review room!! The last notice we received was that Dossiers dated through February 28, 2008 have been reviewed. Last week we were informed that Dossiers dated through April 30, 2009 have made it through. Ours is March of 2009. So this step matters and yet not really until we have a referral. It will mean us travelling a bit sooner because our original review has been done. Of course once we are matched, then our dossier has to be found and made sure that we qualify for the type of child we have been matched with. It really is good news because, to my knowlege, we had no questions regarding: health, income, family, or anything that would make us ineligible to adopt from China. WooHoo!

Last week, we had the privelege of being fingerprinted yet again for USCIS/DHS. This is to renew our immigration pre-approval because we have been approved for over 15 months and not filed for approval (meaning we haven't brought anyone into the country as an immediate family member). The whole experience was top notch, it's just the idea of all the redundancy, but you've heard that before! I thought we would have had our renewal already, but it has not come yet. Maybe someone has duplicated our fingerprints and is wreaking havoc and committing crimes?

What ARE we waiting for?

Did you ever eat a brownie with powdered sugar on top and inhale as you took a bite? I just did that. (Side note: I made Lisa's California brownies using applesauce instead of margarine and the texture is there, but they still need a little something, but I have no problem eating a mediocre brownie if it's lowish in fat and calories. I wonder if I used pumpkin instead of applesauce?) Then it hit me, why am I having so much trouble from this lovely little treat? Now I know you can't really compare our adoption process with a brownie--that would be waaaaay too big of a stretch, but just a small correlation: What I thought would be rather straighforward journey (delusional, I was) has become a whole 'nother ballgame. This waiting is garbage and it has turned into this whole complicated deal. I am sure I was protected from knowing about all the BS as we began down this road, because I gotta say that I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have started.

Now, I know most people know how China Adoption has slowed down. What used to take 6 months or so, has turned into 4 years and rising, but that is not the program we are in. Our path is not supposed to take this turn. There are approximately 1,000 children waiting on a list for a family. Why does the (yes, mostly OUR) government make this so stinking hard? It has gone beyond "in the interest of the children". This process is redundant, repetitive, overlapping and did I say redundant? This red tape is damaging for these kids. The 6 months of waiting (approx.) AFTER getting chosen is just crazy. I am also constantly second guessing our agency. I know they serve many clients throughout the US, and I am not the most important one. I know they are hardworking and overworked, but we are a family that is in the 5% or less that are easy to match due to our openness for gender, age and need. Why are we still waiting? I cannot believe that our son or daughter is not out there, sitting on a list. I firmly believe that he/she is just aging as the people in the way are just taking their sweet old time. Pretty harsh? Yep. I am pretty sure I also believe we should have preference over families who switched over from the standard program a year after us (and yes there are a ton of arguments for that, but I'm not addressing that today, today is a pity party for me.)

That said--and thank you I do feel better--will our son or daughter be worth the trouble? Of course! And that's the only way through this; focusing on the end result. Lovin' on that little one!

Ok, thanks for listening to my raving. Yes, I will be eating crow and telling you all how wonderful our government and my agency is (well they are wonderful, just not today) when we get a referral and bring home our new little Kuiper. Wait for it.

To balance out this negativity, I have to say that I am blessed beyond belief with Shannon and Austin. They are amazing kids I am privileged to parent them. I love them beyond words and I am amazed daily how beautiful they are.

Switching gears, how about the name Finn (Finnley or Finley, sounds a little girly, though) for either a boy or girl? That's what we are leaning towards, don't tell anyone, it's our little secret.

You have officially made it through another post of me ranting about waiting for #3. Congratulations! Stay tuned.

Deb