What ARE we waiting for?

Did you ever eat a brownie with powdered sugar on top and inhale as you took a bite? I just did that. (Side note: I made Lisa's California brownies using applesauce instead of margarine and the texture is there, but they still need a little something, but I have no problem eating a mediocre brownie if it's lowish in fat and calories. I wonder if I used pumpkin instead of applesauce?) Then it hit me, why am I having so much trouble from this lovely little treat? Now I know you can't really compare our adoption process with a brownie--that would be waaaaay too big of a stretch, but just a small correlation: What I thought would be rather straighforward journey (delusional, I was) has become a whole 'nother ballgame. This waiting is garbage and it has turned into this whole complicated deal. I am sure I was protected from knowing about all the BS as we began down this road, because I gotta say that I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have started.

Now, I know most people know how China Adoption has slowed down. What used to take 6 months or so, has turned into 4 years and rising, but that is not the program we are in. Our path is not supposed to take this turn. There are approximately 1,000 children waiting on a list for a family. Why does the (yes, mostly OUR) government make this so stinking hard? It has gone beyond "in the interest of the children". This process is redundant, repetitive, overlapping and did I say redundant? This red tape is damaging for these kids. The 6 months of waiting (approx.) AFTER getting chosen is just crazy. I am also constantly second guessing our agency. I know they serve many clients throughout the US, and I am not the most important one. I know they are hardworking and overworked, but we are a family that is in the 5% or less that are easy to match due to our openness for gender, age and need. Why are we still waiting? I cannot believe that our son or daughter is not out there, sitting on a list. I firmly believe that he/she is just aging as the people in the way are just taking their sweet old time. Pretty harsh? Yep. I am pretty sure I also believe we should have preference over families who switched over from the standard program a year after us (and yes there are a ton of arguments for that, but I'm not addressing that today, today is a pity party for me.)

That said--and thank you I do feel better--will our son or daughter be worth the trouble? Of course! And that's the only way through this; focusing on the end result. Lovin' on that little one!

Ok, thanks for listening to my raving. Yes, I will be eating crow and telling you all how wonderful our government and my agency is (well they are wonderful, just not today) when we get a referral and bring home our new little Kuiper. Wait for it.

To balance out this negativity, I have to say that I am blessed beyond belief with Shannon and Austin. They are amazing kids I am privileged to parent them. I love them beyond words and I am amazed daily how beautiful they are.

Switching gears, how about the name Finn (Finnley or Finley, sounds a little girly, though) for either a boy or girl? That's what we are leaning towards, don't tell anyone, it's our little secret.

You have officially made it through another post of me ranting about waiting for #3. Congratulations! Stay tuned.

Deb